Shit Shovelling

Shit Shovelling

We used to live on a smallholding.

We had numerous animals.

Pigs, sheep, ducks, geese, chickens, turkeys and dogs.

We reared our pigs outdoors and fed them organic feed.  Someone said we were way before our time and no-one wanted outdoor reared, organic fed, meat.

People also complained to the RSPCA that our pigs were outside in the rain.  When someone contacts the RSPCA they have to respond to the call.  The RSPCA person was very nice.  Our pigs continued to live happily outside.

We also had geese and as there were foxes around all the birds had to be shut in at night.

To begin with the young geese did not mind, however as they got older they were harder to round up.

We bedded them on straw and they stamped on it all night long.  In the morning it was easy to clean the building out as the stuff had turned into what I called, ‘sheet shit.’  I used a shovel and could lift about one metre square of this stuff.  It was a quick and easy job to clean their pen.

As you can image with all those animals there was a lot of muck spreading to be done, hence I wrote the following poem one day:

Oh I am a great shit shoveler!

Oh I am a great shit shoveler.

Oh I do love shoveling shit.

I’m an expert on the subject.

You should ask me about it.


I’ve seen it white .

I’ve seen it black.

I put it in my plastic sack.

Sometimes yellow.

Sometimes green,

And even rainbow colours

I’ve seen.


I’ve seen it soft.

I’ve seen it hard.

In the stable.

In the yard.

On the pavement.

No, that’s wrong.

The neighbours do not like the pong.


I run with my spade

To pick it up.

No don’t do that

You mucky pup!


I’ve taught many dogs to sit and stay

But no matter what I do

I cannot teach the animals

To use the flippin’ loo!


Barbara Burgess Author ©2000

©Barbara Burgess 2014


Image courtesy of dan /




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